![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Even in his dreams he thought he was awake, and in his dreams he committed suicide over and over: burned himself bludgeoned himself by standing under an anvil and pulling a rope hanged himself blew out the stove’s pilot lights and then turned on the oven and all four burners shot himself defenestrated himself stepped in front of a moving Greyhound bus swallowed pills swallowed Vanish toilet bowl disinfectant stuck a can of Glade Pine Fresh aerosol in his mouth, pushed the button, and inhaled until his head floated off into the sky like a child’s balloon committed hara-kiri while kneeling in a confessional at St. “He rolled and thrashed in his bed, waiting for the dancing blue shadows to come in his window, waiting for the heavy knock on his door, waiting for some bodiless, Kafkaesque voice to call: Okay, open up in there! And when he finally fell asleep he did it without knowing it, because thought continued without a break, shifting from conscious rumination to the skewed world of dreams with hardly a break, like a car going from drive to low. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |